A Match Made in... Heaven?
Trump and Cheney have decades of experience in shocking and aweing, making checkers moves in the game of geopolitical chess,
acquiring resources without regard for laws foreign and domestic, and making the defense industry great again.
This 2028 campaign promises to bring one of them back from the dead (or both, if necessary, as necessary) to ensure that America continues to lead the world in preemptive strikes, regime changes, and oil acquisitions.
Together, they will ensure that no nation is safe from American intervention, and that freedom (and oil, and foreign tribute) flows freely to America and her oligarchs.
🛢️ BREAKING: Campaign promises to offend every oil-rich nation in first 100 days 🛢️
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Your Sons and Daughters Deserve More Wars
We know rural America gave us their best in Iraq and Afghanistan. Why stop now? There are so many more countries that need regime change! Your small towns may have lost friends and family, but think of the character-building. Another generation deserves the same opportunities for deployment after deployment.
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America First
Nation-building is back, baby! Once we're there, we're staying there. It's only a forever war if the occupied territory isn't America, and we know how to rename territories on the map to suit our needs.
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Military-Industrial Prosperity
Defense contractors are job creators! More conflicts mean more contracts mean more American jobs. When bombs are dropping, the economy is booming!
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Preemptive Strikes
Why wait for threats to materialize when you can act on intelligence that might exist? The best defense is a really, really aggressive offense. If we think you might have weapons, oil, drugs, or just the right media timing, watch for incoming missiles!
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Coalition of the Giving
We'll assemble international coalitions faster than you can say "mission accomplished." Past alliances and hostilities can be easily ignored with the purchase of the certain Trump-Cheney friendship packages. Asterisks in the history books build character.
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Regime Change You Can Believe In
No two people alive have more experience with regime change. No authorization too small, no country too stable. If they're sitting on resources or just looking at us funny, it's go time.
